Understanding the Biology Behind Why We Drink

Today was the second day of my 12-week program, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t just “a person with a problem.”
I was a person with a system, a brain, a history, genetics, stress responses, memories, all interacting in a way that explains why alcohol became my escape, my reward, and eventually my prison.

On the whiteboard, we broke it down into five parts

1. Genes

2. Reward

3. Memory

4. Stress

5. The ability to choose

Seeing those words written out like that hit me harder than I expected. Because it suddenly made sense and my drinking wasn’t caused by one thing, it was a storm built from many.

Genes

We talked about how genetics don’t decide who becomes an alcoholic, but they can open the door. Some of us are simply wired to feel effects more intensely or to crave that dopamine spike faster.

Reward System

This one was painful to hear.
Alcohol hijacks the reward center, the part of the brain that’s supposed to react to things like love, purpose, progress.
Over time, the brain starts valuing alcohol above everything else. Family. Work. Health. Sleep.
It slowly becomes “the only solution.”

Memory

One part that struck me is how the brain stores the “good” memories of drinking, but not the consequences.
It remembers the relief, not the disaster. The calm, not the chaos. That’s how you end up drinking again even after promising yourself you’re done.

Stress

For some of us, stress doesn’t just feel uncomfortable, it becomes unbearable.
And alcohol, being fast and predictable, becomes the quickest way to shut down the system.
Not because we’re weak, but because our brain genuinely thinks it’s helping.

Choice or the Loss of It

Perhaps the most important thing we learned was this...
When addiction grows, the part of the brain responsible for choice literally weakens.
The impulsive part takes over. The logical part gets quieter. The brain rewires itself around the substance. And the scary part? That rewiring continues even in sobriety unless it’s actively challenged.

What I Realized Today

For years I thought my periodic drinking was simply bad discipline, lack of self-control, or me being my own worst enemy.
But today I understood something deeper

My brain wasn’t working against me it was trying to protect me in the only dysfunctional way it knew how.

Alcohol gave me...

• Effect

• Escape

• Identity

But it also took away my ability to choose freely.

The Good News

The same brain that was rewired by alcoho can be rewired back.

Through

• Structure

• Honesty

• Support

• New habits

• New rewards

• And facing the real reasons we drink

Today didn’t “fix” anything.
But it gave me something I haven’t had in a long time.

Understanding.

And with understanding comes power.

One day at a time is my key take-away. 

Next Assignment: The Family Tree

For the next meeting, I have to create a family tree, not to track relatives, but to map patterns.

• Who had addiction?

• Who used alcohol as coping?

• Who avoided emotions?

• Who shut down under stress?

• What behaviors I grew up around without even noticing?

It’s strange, I’ve never thought about my family in this structured way. It feels personal but necessary. If this whole problem was built like a system,
then maybe the solution has to be built the same way piece by piece, with understanding instead of denial.